hell’s handmaiden

First and foremost, God wants us to have faith.

• C. L. Hanson presents It takes a lot of faith to believe that!!! redux!!! posted at Letters from a broad…. Does it take faith to believe there’s no god? First I asked a community of believing Mormons, then I asked my regular readers.

God wants us to blaspheme. This I conclude from the fabulous amount of religious bashing done by the religious.

• Hemant Mehta, however, would prefer that the Godless do so with some class and presents How Not To Blaspheme posted at Friendly Atheist.

God wants us to use terribly bad arguments when defending our Godlessness.

• An Anonymous Coward thinks this is a bad idea overall and decides to play God’s Advocate.

God wants us to talk to missionaries.

• Akusai presents Action Skeptics Storytime: Mallrat Missionary Mistakes but warns “Never shake hands with a missionary. Touching your heathen skin will not cause them to recoil in fear or burn like a vampire touching a cross. Rather, the act of physical contact causes them such Pentecostal glee that they almost start speaking in tongues.”

God also wants us to have lots and lots of babies… even if some injury is involved. Hallelujah!

• Ebonmuse presents Advice to a Christian — a open letter of advice to an evangelical Christian whose refusal to use birth control is tearing his family apart.
• Bruce presents Religion Never Hurt Nobody posted at Grounded in Reality. Demonstrating once again that religion does do harm to those who choose to believe it.

Once they are born, God wants us to get the kids involved.

• Jeremy Adam Smith presents Kids vs. religion posted at Daddy Dialectic.

God would like to clarify some things.

• 1) Butchering babies is only okay if I, God, tell you to, not if a goose tells you to.
  The Gods presents God: I am not a Goose posted at Blog of the Gods.
• 2) My commandment says you shall not murder, not you shall not threaten to murder.
  The Gods presents Pat Robertson is Better than You posted at Blog of the Gods.

God wants us to let the Faithful do all the defining of all the important ethical issues.

• Leo Lincourt presents What you are… posted at Neural Gourmet explaining that “Law Professor Paul Campos published a very curious essay on the questionable political news site Capitol Hill Blue which on the face of it seems to be the usual labeling of all those without belief in gods as immoral. Dig a little deeper though and it’s also an attack on the authority of the respected biologist E.O. Wilson.”
• After all, “there can be no legitimate values without religion”. Austin Cline presents Christianity as “Conscience and Soul” of the Democratic Party? posted at About Agnosticism / Atheism.

God also requests, not surprisingly, that we found a Theocracy– an idea I might support if we could first put the various gods on a planet by themselves and let them sort out which god actually deserve the big “G”. That should keep them out of our hair for awhile, and ought to get rid of a few for good.

• Alonzo Fyfe presents Mitch Romeny: No Atheists in Government posted at Atheist Ethicist.
• Austin Cline presents Mitt Romney Fights Anti-Mormon Bigotry with Anti-Atheist Bigotry posted at About Agnosticism / Atheism.

God wants us to embrace non-science.

• In particular, God would like it if we screwed up the Second Law. Barry Mahfood presents Give Up on Entropy - It’s Gone Cold posted at The Price of Rice!.
• God would also not mind at if we mixed up orbital mechanics and evolution. The Ridger presents Explaining Phoebe: not hard, but not relevant posted at The Greenbelt.
• God is not big on accuracy, but he likes creationism and Conservapedia. Todd presents Worthless Conservapedia reference posted at ChemJerk.
• Additionally, God assures us that the Earth doesn’t move, that “evolution is part of an ancient Jewish conspiracy” and that He likes Georgia’s lawmakers. Stephen Littau presents Memo: The Earth Doesn’t Move posted at Stephen Littau.

God wants us to ignore inconvenient evidence.

• Tim Jones presents Ancient Skeleton Focus Of Modern Debate posted at remote central.

But God doesn’t mind all research.

• Avant News presents California Scientists Map God Genome posted at Avant News.

On the other hand, God would like us to not engage the public very much about good science.

• Greg Laden presents Why Scientists are NOT AS GOOD as Creationists ? posted at Evolution … Not Just a Theory Anymore. If the creationists are not winning, they are clearly holding ground, in the fight for public opinion about rational approaches to understanding nature vs. religious mumbo-jumbo. Ask anybody “why?” and they will usually get around to mentioning that scientists are just no good at communicating, and scientists have very complicated things to explain so it’s hard. Enough whining and excuse making … those are not the reasons.

God wants us to believe that “Cold, hard reality will always lose to make-believe paradise.”

• Wad presents Why Atheists Always Lose Part 3 posted at wad’s place.

To help cement the previous point, God approves of unbiased sources of information– like Conservapedia.

• Jon Swift presents Conservapedia posted at Jon Swift. Now, finally, there is an alternative to Wikipedia, which doesn’t have any controversial ideas at all: Conservapedia. Conservapedia is based on good Christian values, unlike Wikipedia, which I gather from the name, is based on Wiccan.

God, being infinitely powerful and all that, really likes money a lot.

• Adam Cuerden presents Tithes posted at Waffle. Warning: Contains Bible. But I used it to good effect to debunk charlatans.

God wants us to read our Bibles… but how do you get anyone to pay attention?

• Mark A. Rayner presents Ask General Kang: People always get upset when I tell them what they should do in the bedroom. How do I get them to listen to God?s word? posted at the skwib.

God would like more of us to puke penises on an annual basis.

• Sathyan presents Lingam materialization posted at Unmasking Sai Baba.

God supports open dialogues…

• jbruno presents An “Open” Dialogue on Religion posted at The Voltage Gate.

… if only to prove that there really is only one side to the story– His.

• Adam H presents links, and where i went from there. posted at …And That’s How You Live With A Curse.

God is convinced that there is only one true religion, despite rather widespread human disagreement.

• Siamang presents the eBay atheist | posted at the eBay atheist.

God is wants us to kill bad people, even if it makes no sense.

• green | rising presents Does Capital Punishment Make For A Sustainable Society? posted at green | rising.

Goodbye and enjoy the Carnival of the Godless.

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